Sunday, February 10, 2008

What do you do in the silence of God?


What DO you do in the silence of God??

So, to be honest, iam a little, okay maybe more than a little, but nonetheless i am homesick. Yes, me homesick. But its weird. its not in the sense that i am dying and cyring and hate my life here and have to run home. Because truthfully, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to complain about. My roomates are incredable, the apartment is insane, i live on the flippin mediterranean sea, my classes are so uplifting, i live in spain, AND i am so blessed with everything about this place... seriously.
I was talking to mandy, and though she is sick sick, she is also homesick. I think for me, it is the idea of being away for the next 3 months and one week and not having the ability to just go home. and being with all our "comfortable" people. Or maybe its not being able to share this with the people we have loved forever.?
Whatever it is, it has sucked emotionally from time to time. We got so comfortable with our loved ones and lifestyle, and the second it gets taken away or put on pause, or is a kajillion miles away, you truly do realize how precious your blessings are. And its so ironic for me because i have left my blessings to go to another blessing. I have been so torn these past few days, and have been praying for the Lord to help me be distracted here instead of wondering what everyone else os doing with out me, or wondering what we could be doing instead. and with all that said, I realize that, that is just it. Its not about me. Its about HIM. and He is the reason He provided for me to come out here. and it truly is a beautiful thing.
As i was in church today, we had these amazing guest singers from Austria, Outi and Lee. They are so beautiful, and the Lord reminded me that He is here and He is meeting me here at this devine appointment.

The title of this post is what do you do in the silence of God? and this speaks volumes to me right now because i am living this answer. and it is amazing! What is the answer you ask?? well let me tell you, it is to be still.

I am taking ACTS and i was so truly blessed in the last hour when Pastor Raf was talking about Peter the apostle and how when the Lord told him to wait for the other disciple, and how he in turn, didnt. He gave the Lord a choice between Matt and justus.
Peter: "Alright Lord the blonde (matt) or the brunette (justus)
God: "Wait! I got a redhead (paul) for you! I know he is an enemy of the cross and persecuting christians right now, but he is the vessel I designed for you!"
Peter: "Yea, lets settle for the blonde"
Though both were "qulified" in the sense, they also were maybe not who the Lord had set for that spot. It can be debated whether or not peter was wrong in that, but "acting with no direction" is a great plague of the church today.
Peter took charge that resulted in settling for less that what God had best. That may work in politics and business-but not in the church.
We are to remember that His ways are higher than ours and that [ A good thing can be a bad thing, If its not the best thing]

ALL this to say, that though at times when i feel like the Lord decided not to speak back to me, is usually when he is doing the greatest work. In these times, when we want to be back in the comfort of home, we start to question everything about where we are now. And when i feel like the Lord is not talking back to me, and as i am now sitting in the silence of God, and in a foreign country, with foreign people, i can find comfort in the unknown and also find comfort in knowing that I am exactly where he wants me to be, and KNOW that i am not settling, and that i am waiting for the [best] thing that He has for me, the thing that i would not have recieved if i would havebeen in the comfort of my own home and my own human decision making.

welp! i hope u were as blessed as i was to be reminded of that! So i miss you guys so much and pray for me in this time of stillness! and i encourage all of you bloggers to be still and though the impulsive daily decisions we make, may be fun, it is not as fun as what we get when we wait and are still.

be blessed! and cant wait to share new bits i learn here!!
so im gonna go eat some chocolate and be all girly... haha totally kidding, i got missions homework, but i am really gonna go eat some chocolate :)

much love!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

pray!

Anonymous said...

I AM BLESSED!!!IN SO MANY WAYS AND WITH SUCH AN INSPIRING DAUGHTER! WOW! U ARE TRULY AMAZING I PRAY FOR U EVERYDAY CALL ME ANYTIME... WELL MAYBE NOT BETWEEN 1-4AM1?:)JUST KIDDING CALL ANYTIME BABY LOVE U SO VERY MUCH, MOM

Anonymous said...

Girlie, I am just beginning to realize...that being still is what we should all do from time to time. I am proud that you have learned this now. You will be a better more amazing person from your life experiences. This is just your beginning. You are 100% correct....Do Not Ever settle! Live it Love it Enjoy it!!! We are here for you always. No matter where you are on this earth. Your mom is blessed to have you as a daughter and I am blessed to be your Tia. And call your mom at 2am...lol. Just know that distance does not keep us apart. You are forever a part of us. Love you Nay!!! oxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

like omg girlfriend u r truely the apple of my eye...i just adore how much u put into this blog..its as if i could see ur soul through this...i neva really understood how u rolled butu just do it... i wish all my pictures were as cool as just one of ur picles...wow wat else can i say but....yo chocolate face i miss you!!!

HAHAHA!!!!