“I never said it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.” (A reminder from Jesus talking about our ministry.) These words have become so evident, so true. so tangible, and so real to me in my heart.
The story and current state of my family’s salvation has been known, and all of you know how precious they are to me. Being here in my third semester of Bible College the Lord has renewed me with excitement and joy of Himself. His words “Remember Me….” Have become apart of my daily dose of “Jesus”. The incredible thing is that there is so so much to “remember” about Him, and what is even greater is remembering that He is that same God today as He was when He first beautifully invaded my life. Just as powerful. Just as alive. And just as loving as He was then, He still remains.
In being the wonderful stress case that I am, I have almost perfected the art of asking “well, what next Lord? Im going to live my life for you, and I do not want to be out of your will, so please Lord, please guide me to do Your will. What should I do next semester?” … This is all fine and dandy, but how frustrating and consuming it becomes. Praise the Lord that He is so faithful to reveal Himself in such ways that our feeble minds can actually focus and listen to Him, Praise the Lord when He grabs a hold of us and captures our thoughts and options and “other” peoples opinions that plague our mind, and allows us to sit at His feet and JUST LISTEN.
Today in class, the Lord seized my heart in a way that words cannot dictate. As the Lord spoke through the speaker… His gentle voice filled my ears, while His hand wiped my tears, and He Himself began to unveil the burden of my heart.
As the Lord was doing that work in my heart, the message that was being spoken was lovingly convicting my brothers and sisters and myself. And a few things remained on the forefront of my heart and mind from class:
The Lord cares.
How quickly do we forget this? Or maybe its not a question of forgetfulness, maybe it is a question of do you truly know what this means? Yes the Lord cares. But about what? About Who? And do you care about the same things?
The world is going crazy right now, especially in America it seems. People are for this and people are for that. Everyone is still fighting for freedom in the land of the free and all the while, us Believers sit and aspire that everyone would know and have the security that we have, right? … that is life… well, my life at least. Now my only question (to myself) is: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?
The only way you won’t waste your life is if you do what the Lord wants you to do. DON’T WASTE IT. For me, it’s obvious that the Lord has called me to be in Bible College. I need to not waste this unique time I have to set all aside and grow in the Lord. But I do. How? By constantly wondering what is next? When should I start “real” school? Blah blah blah. Who cares!? Its not here yet. Right now I need to BE HERE. Wherever you are in life right now, whether it is in ministry, career, family or all of the above… BE THERE. Bloom where you are planted. How much of our thought life is plagued with our fears, doubts, worries, self-praises, and our own plans and desires and goals?
IF YOUR FULFILLMENT CANNOT BE COMPLETELY FOUND IN CHRIST, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT CAN BE FOUND IN ANYTHING ELSE? (a guy, a girl, your spouse, your kids, your Sunday school message, your career).
We truly need to “Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and Hid righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33.
Tozar once said “100% of us die. The percentage cannot be increased.” We only have one life, and it will soon pass; only the things of Christ will last. So, we are to REDEEM THE TIME, because you can’t get it back. (Ephesians 5:15-16). Following Jesus is about sacrificing. Picking up your cross and following, THIS is your reasonable service to Him. We are to Keep a loose grip on the things of this world. Be faithful to the Lord. How many times has He ever let you down? How many times has He provided for you with the air in your lungs and the smile of your family members?
God cares about faithfulness and obedience. (Hebrews 12) Its about laying aside weights (it doesn’t have to be a sin, its just something that is holding you back from giving your all to Him). Running with endurance, and ultimately looking unto Jesus (this is HUGE. Stop taking your eyes off of Him. Our goal is to be more like Him. How can we do this if we aren’t even looking His way? The Lord cries out “ Stop taking your eyes off of Me, even when you can’t see me.” Have you ever had a blurry vision? It never focuses on its own right? You have to keep your eyes open and they will see clearly. How often do you use your vision? Most of us would agree on a daily basis right? ☺ So, if Jesus is to be the center of our vision… He should be a daily part of your life… well, is He?
This life is so hard. Tiring. Draining. Comfortable. So how do we NOT waste our lives? Philippians 1:20-21 That Christ may be magnified in your body, whether by life or death. The un-wasted life is one that IN EVERYTHING YOU DO, you do it FOR Christ. God is most glorified when we are satisfied IN Him.
Family and friends: It is when our death becomes gain… that you will see Christ, the man who died for you, glorified… and THAT reason alone will give you assurance that your life was never wasted on this earth.
Coming to Bible College has been quite an adventure. It has had its approvals and disapprovals from friends, family members and all the people I love. The term “wasting you time” has emerged in this area of my life, and many times I would take those words and grip them, which would create doubt and fears of my own walk with the Lord and in general what I am doing with my life.
It is now almost the end of my THIRD semester of Bible College. Oh the irony. haha! Through the ups and down and doubts and confirmations I have never been more sure of my plan in this life. MY PLAN IS HIS PLAN. To seek first His kingdom and to love one another until it hurts, and the love some more. That is Our plan ☺. I desire from the Lord to BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS . And with that, the Lord has been sp faithful to show me what is breaking in His heart, and that is what has now become my burden, my mission, my love…. My family’s salvation.
Its pretty plain and simple, its HOPE. This is what I want my family to have. The same Hope that I have. Before the Lord my hope was much like all the cookie cutter plans and dreams of this world. I aspired to succeed, to please, to live a fun, quiet, overall good life. I knew of Jesus and I didn’t have a problem with him. I thought he was a good guy and I thought religion was good on Sundays. How tiring and stressful this life becomes.
But oh how the love of the Lord has stolen my heart. After I was saved and my relationship with Christ began I had an entire different reason for living and entire different thought process, and entire different trust, and an entire different hope. My hope now is HIM. This hope gives me rest. Satisfaction in knowing that everything I do is for Him and imperishable, it is finally worth it. I get to spend eternity with HIM. The ONE BEING that has not only saved me, sanctified me, redeemed me, guided me, guarded me, forgave me everyday I sin, answered me, and completely loved me through every moment of my life, my first love, my best friend. The one that made my heart come alive and gave me peace. That is my HOPE and it is He. His name is Jesus.
Hell is not just a lake of fire for those who chose sin. It is much more scarier that that. It is an eternity without Christ. I cannot live one day without needing Christ, let alone an entire eternity. I need Him. I have Him. I have the eternal Hope. And THAT is my desire. That my family would not come to church, or completely drop their habits or friends or opinions …. But instead, that they would soon experience EVEN ONE of the things that I have in my relationship with Christ. That they would feel what it is like to for the first time find that rest, or that peace, or finally be satisfied and know what it is like to be invaded with His Love. My desire is that they will feel His love and have no other option but to want more of Him, and that they too would have this eternal Hope.
What is so awesome is that I know it is possible. My God is mighty to save.
So… all this is encourage those who may not know exactly what their burden is. We all have one. I encourage you to redeem this time,; He is worth it. His love for us is beyond comprehension, but it doesn’t make it any less true.
My prayer for myself is that I would perfect the art of losing myself in bringing Him praise.
I love you all who are reading this so much. You are all my family and im so blessed by your prayers. Please if you can pray for my grandmother and her kidney situation still. ☺ God is so good.
I can’t wait to see all of yall; it’s coming so soon! Happy Thanksgiving!
At His feet,
Anna
